Stockholm gave me all I’ve asked for and a hell of a lot more. Since Thrusday I’ve lived the ultimate heterosexual family life with Man, Kid, Spagetthi Carbonara and Turtles. I play the role of the perfect housewife while J’s at work and clean the flat from toys and diapers in my dirty 90’s dressing gown, watch some porn and write dirty messages to my lovers.  When J comes home again he sits in front of his computer all night while I smoke indoors, trying to look like some depressed version of random charachter in Desperate Housewives. Then we eat cheese sandwiches and go to sleep in our seperate bedrooms. He’s snoring like old grandpa and I masturbate under the quilt until I finally fall asleep.

The only thing that makes this heterosexual family incomplete is that J is more of a gangster than a white heterosexual man and I’m more like a kid than a woman and J and me are not really a couple (even though we once were) and I will always get to drunk to be a responsible parent.

So the weekend came and I left my new cute family at home and got wasted at Farbiken. Found a funky fly blog fan from Gotheborg, lost all my friends and forgot that it probably wasn’t a good idea to come home like a yelling crack moma to the sleeping man and the kid.

And then it was Saturday and time for Big BIG Party again and I was the definition of Hangover but too excited to remeber that for more than 5 minutes so it was hey hey Champange and hey hey love, food, dance, 50 cent and party til’ 5 in the morning.

Now I’ve slept the whole day and if I hadn’t have a three year old kid to play and watch ”Sunes Sommar” with yesterday I’m pretty sure I’ve had died. 

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Västervik is fine as fuck. The sun is always shining, the local hardcore dudes are still as cute as they were 2002 and where ever you go you'll have a free show of beautiful redneck ass cracks. I wanted to stay forever.

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This is me smoking my first cigarette ever. It's always better to do stuff with the cunt.

Next up is camping in Västevik. Steal beer from minors and pee in the children's pool.  

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SICK

I'M FUCKING SUPER DUPER MEGA SICK! This is my sleeping outfit right now and everytime I wake up I think I'm in a tent at the Roskilde festival and have popped some freaky danish purple pills. This fever makes me freeze to death and dream of cocks that grows out of my ass. Can someone please buy some horse magazines and ice cream for me!!!!! 

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ASSLEX BEFORE SHE BROKE HER RIBSHAPPY LINN

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dirtyflaws.bigcartel.com

Think it's time to get my head tattoed now that I don't have any hair. A gang tattoo anyone?  

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50 CENT AND ME

Just finished an intersectional analysis of 50 cent. Thought I would hate him by now, but I guess I can’t get tired of a man who calls his cock ”The Magic Stick”. Fifty and I also handles life quite similar. We pretend that we’re motherfucking P.I.M.P.s who live the very hardcore thug life, gets more ass than a toilet seat and drink Crystal for breakfast. But the truth is that we are only two nerdy wimps who fuck our second-rated partners in the missionary position after the evening news and the most criminal we have done over the past ten years is to steal gum at Seven Eleven.

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JONAS LOISKEKLAUS SCHULTZE

Electro madness and drills. In my brain, in my flat and in my heart. Just as I like it.

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SCOTT POMMIER

PETE HALUPKA

I sit at home all alone and listening to Ki-Ci & Jojo - All my life on repeat. That's creepy! Please come back to Stockholm and save me now.

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TOOK A BATHCHRISTMAS IN LINKOPING 3

I've bathed. I've eaten. I've bathed and I've eaten again. I've walked in the snow and watched so many episodes of Nip Tuck that I can only think of giant plastic titties. Tonight I'm going back home. I really need to get drunk and undecent again. So stop eating your disgusting pig asses and get drunk with me instead!

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